I Googled "knee replacement scar" and basically burst into tears. This whole morning has been really bad. I'm in ridiculous pain these days and when I walk it's like I'm a hundred. THAT is not particularly attractive, so I don't know why I care about a scar. But I do.
I didn't go to church today. I'm driving to St. Louis next Sunday and have no idea how I'm going to get to work every morning. I'm better as the day goes on, of course, so maybe I'll have to start getting up at 5:00 so that by the time 9:00 rolls around I'm moving like a 70-year-old instead of a 100-year-old.
I'm calling the doctor tomorrow. This has begun to impact everything I do. I read about the surgery pretty extensively. It made me lightheaded and nauseated, to be honest. I'm such a wimp. The results are supposed to be so good, though. I'm back to thinking I should have one knee done at a time; I go back and forth. And, of course, the doctor will have something to say about that as well.
I hate it when I get like this. I hate whiners, but all I feel like doing is whining. I hate negativity, but I don't feel at all positive right now.
And so on.