Saturday, March 10, 2012

Chaise Linden

86. We bought a chaise longue today (I refuse to spell it "lounge" -- Philistines). When I lie out in the sun for my twenty-minute Vitamin-D snags, I don't get burned even a tiny bit. That's kind of the point, I think. But anyway, over time some color DOES build up, so I go to stupid lengths to make sure that I get sun coverage evenly. The biggest thing is to not just lie on my back -- I need to have stomach time, too. Obviously, I can't lie on my stomach in a hammock, so what I've been doing is putting the hammock on the ground and lying on it that way. The problems with this are two: first, there are lots of bugs that are disturbed when I flop the hammock on the grass and they crawl up and on me while I'm down at their level, and two, it's really really hard for me to get up from the ground.

SO -- I've been wanting a chaise. I've been fantasizing about one like this:

It's from Pottery Barn and costs $648 with the cushion (and, um, you need a cushion). Needless to say, I've been wanting that for a long time and would probably have been wanting it for a long time to come. So I decided to get more realistic and I found a chaise that will do the trick at Costco for $129.

It's too dark to take a picture of it and there isn't one on the Costco web site, but it's kind of like this one from Home Depot. Nothing exciting -- but I can lie on my stomach and not be flat on the ground. It's also better for lying on my back, too, because I don't have to be flat for that and also my knees won't hyperextend like they do when I'm in the hammock. It's harder to get out of it than the hammock because it's lower, but it's not as hard to get out of it as it is to get up from the ground, so I think it kind of balances out. I'm going to go with that, anyway.

Today was a gorgeous day and I was able to get my twenty minutes in -- before we went to Costco, so it was the hammock's swan song. Alex and Alisha want it, so whenever Bruce has time to take it over there we'll do that (it won't fit in anybody's vehicle except his).

Also -- I have been doing research on knee replacements, and I am almost at the point where I'm ready to go that route. In fact, I'm kind of excited about it. I'm going to give it one more shot regarding losing the weight (I lost forty pounds originally, and that's kind of been IT -- I'm not gaining it back, but I never get past that, either) and if that doesn't work I'm going to go ahead and see an orthopedic surgeon. The big question is whether to do both knees at once or to do one at a time. You have to be in the hospital for three to five days after a knee replacement (seems excessive to me) and then, of course, you need help at home for a while. I can see the benefits to both routes -- get it over with and go through rehab, etc., just once, or do one at a time and never be totally debilitated. I dunno. I have time to think about it. (Most of the people on the chat boards like the way they did it, regardless of which route they took, which puts me in favor of having both done at once -- if those people think it worked well, then I'd just as soon get it DONE.)

87. I finished editing a book for my friend Linden today. He ran for the Republican nomination for president in New Hampshire and this book is about that experience. It's hilarious. Here is my favorite paragraph (I'm sure he won't mind me excerpting it here). This is from an email to his children in which he is discussing the ever-moving primary date:

"There is thought that the primary may fall around my birthday on [January] 4th. That should work for me...if it is closer to Christmas, it is doubtful that I would want to be away from Plainfield. Being willing to serve the public politically can just tear one apart." Julie (the word may be "succinctly") said, "You are goofy." Brian just said that "There is a magical ring to the words 'Former Presidential Candidate Linden Swift.'" This illustrates why he might receive the lion's share of any estate I may leave.

Spoiler alert: Linden did not win. He also did not finish last. You'll have to read the book to learn how it all ends.

Anyway -- Linden delights me. I am thankful for him.

More later...

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