It's always been like this, I know. And it's even been worse (Nero, anyone?). But some days I handle it better than others and the last couple of days I've really felt like becoming a hermit is the only rational course of action. Christianity would be great if I didn't have to deal with PEOPLE.
I am so grateful for the Psalms -- and when I feel this way I always turn to Psalm 73.
"But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task."
Couldn't we all have written that line? Wow. And the very next verse:
"Until I went into the sanctuary of God."
I am at my most distraught when I have been out of God's word the longest. This is why I read my Bible every day, but even that is not always enough. We don't hear much about biblical meditation these days, but I think it's something that would bless all of us. Not a time of study -- simply a time of meditating on what God says in His word. Just one short passage, one Psalm, one verse even. Mull it over, pray it, consider how it applies to you.
The psalmist goes on:
"When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you. Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory."
So even when I'm a rotten spoiled brat, every bit as bad as the folks I'm complaining about -- I'm not abandoned. Sometimes I can't stand myself -- how in the world does God put up with me?
And then the best part...
"Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
There is no one so faithful as our God. No one who always understands and waits ready to take our burdens if we'll only drop them off. When I think about it I realize what a massive control freak I really am to try to hang onto all of the details of what bothers me when God will take them if I'll let them go.
Tomorrow -- new day, new attitude.